Posted by: Mark | November 21, 2008

The Remarkable World of Sea Monkeys


About a month ago, a student of mine showed up to class with one of those sea monkey packets–the tank, the freeze-dried eggs, and the food–so that we could have a classroom pet. We went through the steps to get them set up, and the monkeys hatched. At first we had maybe a half dozen, but in the last week or so we’ve ended up with only one. And it’s huge. And from the perspective of everyone who has seen it, it has huge balls. I mean enormous, like 1/3 of its body mass. We call him Gandalf.

I decided to contact the knowledgeable people at Sea Monkey headquarters to ask two big questions. First off, was Gandalf our only sea monkey because he had eaten all of the other sea monkeys? In other words, had he gone cannibal on us? And secondly, were we right or wrong…does Gandalf have huge balls?

Here’s my email:


Rather remarkably, after only 21 minutes, I heard back, in what is possibly the single greatest email I have ever gotten:


After ranting about’s crappy service a few days back, it’s inspiring to hear back from a company so quickly, but also in a way that is succinct, enigmatic, heartfelt, and entirely hospitable.

grog5 will be getting a picture from me as soon as I get back to school on Monday, you can count on it. And hopefully we will get to the bottom of these questions.



  1. Damn dude, I hope you are planning on updating the blog when you get to the bottom of “the maltese testicles”. I’m curious

  2. I think G might mean a picture of YOUR abnormally large testicles…

  3. “Thanks, G”

    Enough said.

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